Sunday, April 30, 2017

You too-be can be a doctor

Hello Doctor, how are you today

Well, if it isn't my favorite patient.
What brings you here today?

I've been feeling kind of icky in the mornings, did some research on "You tube" and found out it's just a Body code B 336

Yes,  it's a heart circuit code, possible tachycardia, ventricular atrophy or maybe even the whole heart is shot!  Some important testing is required to narrow the problem down.
What do you think?

Well, "You tube" told me that it's due to my high blood pressure, I saw on some guy's video I need to take a blood thinner in order to lower the viscosity of my blood and thus lower the pressure.  And he's reliable!  He has over 100 followers!

And you are going to do what "You tube" suggested?

Yes!  It said I need to go on the blood thinner Coumadin, that should lower the blood pressure, It also said if it doesn't work, take two pills of Hydralazine and Nitrates.  And, if I'm still alive in the morning log back in to "You tube" and recheck for other possibilities as the initial diagnosis was obviously wrong.     It continued to say that if I improve my mood, not only I can be healthier but also happier. So I thought I should go on Paxil, and since one of the side effects is diarrhea, I can also loose weight at the same time. Isn't that a wonderful drug? So what do you think about that?

That's crazy!  Don't you think we should do some testing before you do something that expensive and invasive.   All on what was prescribed on "You tube" !
And I won't write a prescription for those powerful drugs you mentioned!

No problem! I got my own!

Maybe I shouldn't even ask but, how did you get them?

My next door neighbor's dog was barking a lot and his vet prescribed canine Paxil, my neighbor told me it's the same thing for humans, he knows because he used to be a janitor at a Pharmacy, Well, I figured I'd use Fido's Paxil and save some money. As for the Coumadin, I got it online from a web site in Nigeria, I'll be saving a ton of money and all I had to do was to give them my bank account number. Isn't that great?


It seems every single day, we get someone who brings their own diagnosis and parts, wants to know how much you would charge to install and, would blame you if it does not fix the problem.
What a world we are becoming!

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